Why We Should Keep Playing the "Game"

May 5, 2008 officially marked my 40th year on this lovely thing called earth and since they say 40 is the new 30, well then, I'm 30. I spent my second 30th working some o.t. sifting through documents (bo000ring). So as I'm sitting there non-reading all this work, I started daydreaming about how on my birthday my only company was a pile of meaningless paper. Which of course led me to thinking about the last time I went out, which of course led to the last time I had a date (with a man, not the fruit) which ultimately led to me wallowing in self pity (Oh God, nobody loves me). It's been a full year and a half. Wow - that really sucks.

So then I thought, how is it that I've been so dateless for well over a year? I'm visually acceptable; relatively nice. But, no offers, no potentials, no lost opportunities, no wayward glances that said "you're hot, take me home baby." Nothing, nada, zip.

When I was in my early 20's, men were everywhere. I had to shoo them away. When you're younger (the kind of younger when you feel like you have the world at your fingertips) you have such an air of "wee hee I can do anything I want kind of freedom." You don't even have to remember the names of the guys you're hanging with. You can laugh and flirt and it's all just a good time. I remember my roommate and I had a contest one night while we were at a club to see who could give out our phone number the most and how many guys we could get to make us breakfast the next morning. We didn't go home with anyone, but our phone number sure did. The next morning our phone was ringing off the hook - which of course compounded the pounding and clanging going on in our hungover heads. I remember at least 20 different guys called. God, those were the good old days.

So how did the good old days become "the good old days?" How did I get from there to ... here? Sure some things have changed. I have a few wrinkles, things have gotten a bit wider, perhaps a few things a little bit lower. But when did I take myself out of the game? But the better question is, why did I take myself out of the game? And when do I plan on playing again?

So what happens now? I'm a mom. I have three kids. I can't act all "wee hee-ish." I have to behave and set a good example. How do I justify going out and leaving my kids home so I can go have a crazy adult night? Ironically, I probably need those crazy nights more now than I did when I was younger since half the time I feel like a frazzled lunatic (and probably look like one too - no seriously, I do). So I ask, are crazy good fun loving nights over until my kids are all grown up and out of the house? Or do I just bite the bullet and deal myself a new hand?