Online Dating ... the New Mailorder Brides?

I don't do the online dating thing. I tried it once, twice actually, and I was profoundly disappointed both times. The first guy looked nothing like his picture - at least in this century. The guy in the picture was quite handsome. The guy that showed up for the date - not so much. The second guy showed up completely drunk and reeked of alcohol. He even wizzed on the side of the road while talking to me. So gross. It was a shame too because we had a ton in common and he totally cracked me up. If he lived in the area, I could see us being buds. Clearly, however, there was no "love connection" for me nor would there ever be. Very, very bad first impression.

I have, however, heard of the occasional success story and actually know of one. One out of who knows how many? But I do know of one. In fact, this online couple actually got married and are expecting their first baby. It still amazes me to this day.

But here's the real problem I have with online dating. This computer dating, through companies like Match.com and e-harmony, etc. is the 21st century's answer to the old mail order brides/husbands. Back in the day, there was an actual printed catalog of women and at times men, who were looking for spouses. Usually, the "lookers" (of husbands) were from a less industrialized country than the "lookees" (for wives). Since the fall of the Soviet Union, there is also a large influx of women from eastern European nations seeking marriage to escape from their countries.

So now, the lookee has gotten his catalog and flips through it looking for someone that catches his eye. He might find a few, but you're always turning the page hoping there's something better on the next page. If he sees something he likes, he contacts his prospective wife and they make the appropriate arrangements.

And this just seems exactly like online dating to me - except in paper form (although mail order brides have also kept up with the times and are online as well). You simply search for what you "want" and keep hitting "next" looking for that next person that catches your eye. It's just so synthetic. It's like looking through a catalog for shoes but instead they're real people. Real live people, with feelings and emotions.

When I do occasionally look around on Match to see if I know anyone on there, I still see the same faces that were on there two years ago. Clearly, it's not working for long-term commitment although judging by the fact that so many people have been "active within 24 hours" it's working quite well in the short-term. With all the people signed up for online dating services, I wonder how many of them think, "maybe the next profile will be better" and can't commit because you just don't know if you'll find "the one" the next time you log on. It's like a candy shop for the serial dater. In fact, I busted a guy whom I met at a neighborhood festival (and nothing at all to do with online dating), and faux-dated, with a profile on match.com. I recognized some of his pictures as ones that he'd showed me while I was at his house (ouch! - double ouch!). I guess he was still flipping through his catalog when he met me. I however, prefer to write "return to sender" on all my catalogs and meet people the old fashioned way - at bars. (just kidding)